The Last Thursday of October

So here we are on Thursday.. I tried NOT to blog JUST SO I would have something decent to contribute. Which I still don't and probably never had, but !

I am still pretty on fire from the Jeremy Camp concert. We sat in on his "Conversations" segment pre-show and met him-- He was amazing. I am a fan. And his concert was fantastic, also. Really turned up your worship, if you will.

I need some prayer. (Surprise!) I am really struggling with my christian attitude at work. I have some conflict with my boss-- and I need to rise above. Easier said then done.

Things at church are really coming along. We cleaned out the craft closet at church.. (three hours later) we unearthed a plethora of Children's Church goodness. Flannagrams, whole sets of activity books, tons of craft goodies, you name it-- we have it. And as of today- it is organized to the hilt. After 4 dumpster loads. Ouch! So next Sunday the 31st kicks us off. And I am excited. I have the first week and we have 3 other volunteers and 2 alternates for this quarter. (I know.. we aren't actually IN the beginning of a quarter, but ..) All I need is some snacks and we are on point! We have 2 girls, (my Kynsi and her bff Layla) but that is what we are in this for. Bringing in the masses. Well, maybe a mass. Or maybe a gaggle.. a group? Whatever the Lord says is our order!

We have our first visit to Appalachian Bible scheduled. We are leaving late Thursday the 11th-- like 6ish and driving straight through. 5.5 hours, door to door. We will meet with financial aid, and housing, as well as tour the campus and just in general nose around. We are excited. We have not mentioned a thing of this to Kynsi- any ideas on how to/when to break the news? I guess since it isn't definite yet, not break the news.. but uncertainty is no good to a 5 year old, so I am wondering how to explain the visit. Ideas, welcome. :)

In anticipation of our trip I am typing up exams and things for Pitts to submit to Andersonville-- he has been dong these Bible courses by going online for the assignments and he intended to submit all the exams at once-- well, once is now. And he has them all written in a notebook and guess who gets to type them since her Preacher In Training is so busy? You got it. :) So I am furiously typing in and up questions and summaries.. what a trip. But, I am really learning a lot from entering his exams and answers in. So there is always a bright side. And Pitts is so perfect he rarely needs help with anything. So actually doing something FOR him is nice.

Mckynsi Lane is going through something about now. I think it is.. growing up.. or something. But she is tuning me out a bit. I am finding myself repeating things to her a lot more frequently than I'd prefer. She actually had  a Time Out, yesterday. What!? Yes. Wow. She just thinks she can do things her way and totally disregard me. at 5.

This weekend is Trick-or-Treat weekend. Also on the docket is family picture weekend. Last year when we did these in October, little did WE know there was an extra family member in the shot. What a laugh! lad there is NO chance of that this year..

Happy Thursday!

Today is my fifth wedding anniversary.

Oh yeah! The Walk.. and oh no.. the new diet.

The Susan G Komen Walk for the Cure was amazing! It was freezing cold.. Well, maybe freezing is an exaggeration.. but it was a blustery 54 at the beach. The feeling was incredible.. I walked beside a lady who was walking "In Honor" of herself, with stage 4 breast cancer. Wow. There was a ton of people there, we walked up and made a loop and came back down the boardwalk- and coming back--seeing the sea of pink walking was such a great feeling of camaraderie.  We weren't the last to finish- but the 5k took us an hour and 10 minutes.. about 23 minutes a mile. Not great, but not bad. Hoping to fine tune that time.. Which I'll expound on shortly. (pound.. lol)

I walked with a great crew- but we got separated- and much of the time it was just me and Crystal- a friend that I have been lucky to have in my life for about 15 years now. We have kids about the same age- she lives about 40 minutes away-- Kyns and her Gav are BFFs also. We don't get a chance to spend a lot of time together, but it is always quality. And the walk was not an exception. We had a real heart to heart, about life, about religion, or as I consider it, my relationship. It was really wonderful. I have signed up for Crystal's relay for life team also. I love this walk thing. :)

On other note..


160.

Current weight, and I am a mere 5'4- so all that equals really pudgy. Especially, ESPECIALLY around the middle. You know.. where the baby was (validation) 4 months ago. (reality) Yikes. Basically- I am looking to lose 30lbs- whist breastfeeding. So this could be an excruciatingly slow process. From what I understand, I am to get rid of 500 calories from producing, excreting milk-  as an average (that no one is really sure of)-- Based on the Harris-Benedict model equation.

Age: 27
Height: 5 feet, 4 inches
Weight: 160 pounds
Activity Level: Sedentary (Little Exercise)
Gender: female
Calories burned per day: 1821
Based on your age, height, sex and activity level, this calorie calculator will estimate the number of calories you need to eat on a daily basis to maintain, gain or lose weight.

Adding in the pumping, producing we are going to say I am burning 2321 calories a day. As an average. The lactation lady at Sentara said (when my production levels were low) I needed 3200 calories a day to produce enough for Luke.

So- I think we can see HOW I got in this mess. Now how to get out?

Remember that friend I mentioned in a previous blog that was going to help me with a stunning outfit to wear for my anniversary date? THAT very same friend, the amazing Jamie- will be helping me initiate a workout schedule. Yay. A workout buddy. A good first step.

So- 3 questions.

1.) Will my production drop if I cut back calories?

2.) How much and what should I be working out? like.. abs? I need abs..

3.) What should I be eating..?

I am hungry,

Nobody's perfect, Big Pray, Skinny jeans and Jeremy Camp

I am having a problem recognizing the plank in my eye. You know, not literally- because I work in the optometry field, but the biblical plank. I am having trouble recognizing that other people's decisions, problems, lives, are not up to me to validate or pass judgment on.  I know I have issues to work on... (this being a major one!) and that should be my main focal point. Can I ask-- how do I let ridiculous (see, there I go again) things happen around me and not let it affect my view of the people doing them? Prayer, yes. I think God is tired of me praying for myself on that one. :)

Today is a day of testing. It is a long Thursday at work, Luke is fussy, (with my Mother) I forgot my pump at home, and I am struggling with internal issues. And, and and.. I forgot my lunch at home. :(  I know where it is coming from. Pitts and I are pretty deep in prayer about this whole West Virginia Bible School/Sell your life/pack it all up and move "thing". Pitts is fasting- I am just.. praying fervently, and hoping it is righteous, effectual and will avail much. :)

Tomorrow is our 5 year anniversary. Pitts and I are so blessed to still be so overly sickening, totally in love. And my wonderful husband surprised me with tickets to a Jeremy Camp concert in Virginia Beach this Saturday. I am so excited. First REAL date in over 6 months. It is SO time. :) I called my stylish awesome girlfriend and begged rights to her wardrobe so I can pull together something he hasn't seen me in a thousand times.. thankfully, she obliged. Looks like a fantastic weekend.

Then, we'll have a free weekend.. (psht!) and THEN is the big visit trip to WVa.-- Pray and Leave it with God, girl. (there is another issue to work with..)

So, I am growing roses in the kitchen

I typically am by the book on my grocery lists. "We need bleach wipes, skim milk, shampoo, bananas.." you know.. to the letter.

Well, on Saturday they had beautiful parade roses with a tiny trellis in the fruit section. They were tiny and yellow and I could just imagine them brightening up my mornings in the cold winter. Oh, roses, I have a beautiful rosebush outside that wraps the porch, it is divine and always blooms on Mother's day. I am the small annual outside plant Queen.

I don't want to talk about the Mandevilla incident.

So, I go ahead and splurge the 6.99 or whatever they were and take it home. Well, it needs sun, no drafts and a typical temp around 70-72. Done! But it is slowly wilting and dying! I am cautious with the water, and attention, but I suppose it does have a draft issue.  But it needs a window, so as a side bonus I intend to update you on the rose. You'll just love it.

The Un-Bridgeable Gap ( I make up words)

When I was completely unaware of my life- When I partied, and stayed out, and stayed unaccountable for for anything I did- ( well, mostly- I have always been a PK- you won't ever NOT have guilt.) I was unattacked, I was everyone's favorite, and I was "blissfully" unaware of how screwed up I really was.

In The Middle was the time that I decided I wanted to be in church- I decided I wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself, bigger than a beer buzz, bigger than shopping malls. BUT- I still wanted to be number one. I still wanted to have a buzz on Saturday and recover before church on Sunday. However, I didn't want all the conviction that came with realization in the Sanctuary. I didn't want to see myself in the message as the BAD one the Pastor (Dad) was talking about. So- I did want any other self respecting hypocrite does. I validated myself. With thoughts like, "It's not like I ever killed anyone" -- "I give to charity" -- "He can't be talking about me, I have read my Bible before. I even did a devotion, once."

Wow.

(I mean, I remember thinking all that, doing all that.. now, It seems like someone else's life. How lucky am I, that I can confidently say THAT is the past? :)  )


I think, slowly, I have realized that that.. "The Middle" stage, was the hardest stage for me. It seems like the easiest.. best of both worlds. I can party, and keep my old friends and not step on anyone's toes, not be accountable for thier souls, and still get my warm fuzzies on Sunday. I can party with the best of them, with my new clean language and polite manners and slightly earlier bedtime.. ("No last call for me girls! I am off to Sunday School in the Morning!! Byee!"-- oooohhhhhhh! aaaaahhhhhh!) and still be "saved".

Right?

While I was in it.. it was as easy as that at first.

..I take pride in being a fast learner...

It wasn't easy.. how much harder is it to be 2 people? I felt convicted.. ridiculous.. sad.. disappointed with myself. Where do I go? How do I get help like that? My church fam couldn't help.. to them.. I had no problem! They didn't know I could down a 6 pack and get it to the church on time.. They only knew what I allowed them to see. I couldn't talk to my girlfriends.. What do they know about conviction?

I guess now would be a good time to interject my physical timeline.

When I was completely unaware of my life- I was 21. And sadly.. that lasted through Kyns being 2 years old. Pitts was not interested in Church, we were wide open, and lucky enough to have trustworthy babysitters in our parents.

In The Middle-  I was older, I was "In Church" and Kyns was picking up on being at her Grandparents, at least once to twice a month. Pitts was used to Kyns and I headed to church, and would join us on occasion.

My sweet Grandmother, Nanny- the only grandparent I knew passed away. I was consumed with knowing if she immediately went to heaven, I was consumed with knowing if she was waiting, if she was watching, if she was disappointed in me.

End Timeline.

The Middle is hard.. I stayed there too long. But, I knew I could pray. So, I did. Everyday.. the wrong way..  only asking.. never praising.. But God is almighty, and merciful. And he heard my prayer.. and he knew the ending.

God got to me by giving me the help I desired all along. Someone who could sort out both sides.

Pitts went to church sporadically- but he went on the right times. He went on the day God planned, on the day God knew he had him. Pitts heard HIS message. The one you always hear about- THAT message.  Talk about night and day. Pitts went forward and gave his life to God- got baptized. And from then- Man, was he sorting me out or what. He has always been perfect- he was gently disapproving, he was slightly admonishing (I thought self righteous-- wrong again..) And I had my help, but was too self righteous (really) myself to accept it. So, I prayed some more. I couldn't shake the partying, and the desire, myself. Guess what God did.

IT'S A BOY!

End drinking. End going out. We are getting the most precious gift ever! Again! Again!!! I didn't even  know I wanted that gift again, but man, did I ever. I argued with God, but I saw what he was doing.  I saw what he wanted from Pitts and I. You'd have to be blind to not know Pitts is a preacher. He glows with the Holy Spirit. He. Glows.

I did not.

I was opposite of glow.  I was a wretched mess. Do you know? Like, torn and pulled, and tempted! God took it away. He knew I wasn't strong enough to stop and realize by myself, for myself. I was for that baby. God gave me an easy way. A bridge.  Now you/I'd have to be blind to not see what he is giving me. I haven't had a desire to drink- I have been immersed in the work- the catching up- the Word.  The change. Bridging the gap. Closing the hole. Loving my life.

Now, judge what you want. Do it! I had 10 months I can't take credit for. And now only 4 months (almost) of making the choice. Staying right. Practicing what I know is right for me. But in those months.. it became more clear than glass.

This is life! This is breathing! This is the beautiful life of gratitude, of servitude, of real happiness. And let me guarantee you- You can't catch a buzz like this.

 And please see me. I glow.

And people don't like it. And people won't like it. But I love them. And if I don't get to you, if won't be because I don't try. I'm not perfect, you may catch me sighing, or complaining, or being ridiculous one day-- But I am shooting for it. I have a story. And we all know it.  That's cool. You have a story. I'm glad mine is going to be glorious. I am glad I went through what I did- Maybe now you can see that you were better than me. That you Are better than me. You probably were. You probably still are. Gives you a head start to get where I am going.

Want to go?

"Aren't we serving the Lord?!"

On Tuesday night we had a Ladies' meeting. After a day of work- (Boss's belittlement, impatient patients, and it was a fat day) rushing home to make dinner, the debate over whether Kynsi should stay out late enough to go, finding something I felt less fat in- my heart wasn't in the best condition to go to the meeting. However, I pulled it all together and out we went. (Notice 'We' -- who's the best debater?)

Typically- at a ladies' meeting, I am first in line with the goodies. (cue waistline expansion) Tuesday, I had an agenda. Children's Church. Here are somethings you should know about our Church.

• Calvary Baptist Missionary was once a thriving bustling center of activities. Awanas, etc. The way I understand it, is through a series of less than savory Pastors-- it declined to fewer members. Much. So we have a big facility, including a massive Gym- a "    "  (I can't think of the name of an accomodation for missionaries to sleep in) a  large sanctuary, a soundroom, 2 small nurseries, a herd of Sunday School rooms, a kitchen.. on and on.
• After the "split"  we were left with a lot of older members and very little teens or youth of any kind. Since, there has been a bit of a boom. We now have 2 teens, and a Young Adult Sunday school class (which Pitts and Brian teach- they are seminary together) that has 9 on a good day. 
• As a result of the young adults' we have had a bit of a baby boom. 3 infants, 2 toddlers, and 2 young girls. 

  So, I decided we were dealing with a bit of a chicken and egg issue. We NEED to grow the church. We need some more young adults. With young adults, typically will come more children. More children mean Children's Church. Young Adults need programs to enrich the experience for children. So do we orchestrate a program for our few? Or do we wait til we have kids to start. My thinking is- we need the program to get the kids.  Which brings me full circle to Tuesday.

Not in the best condition, heart-speaking- I needed some praying to get right. And a deep breath. So with both of those having been accomplished, I went at 10 older christian ladies with my shallow ideas. Success. I was so proud of me. Now- I have the opportunity to sink or swim. Let's see where we go with us. Shout out a prayer to our Father when you have a chance. Because what am I thinking?


Wednesday was a typical Wednesday- made dinner rushed to church, Good service- Luke was a bit fretful- Kyns had a blast in the Wednesday night Kids' class.On the way home, Pitts and I are discussing life and how I am trying to occupy the kids pretty solely for him to be freed up to study, etc. When we come across the topic of serving God. He is concerned that seminary through correspondence school is doing this halfway. He feels called to be in school full time.

Questionable.

Only because it makes me nervous. Change as a whole makes me nervous. Selling our house and moving to W.Va. makes me nervous, A new place away from my parents, new schools, new people, selling our house.. (did I say that?) makes me nervous. This is only the beginning. We are praying, (and covet yours) and visiting, and in general, just musing about how this would all go down.

And no.. this is not a way to get me out of organizing a Children's Church.

:)

We should have named him "Isaac"

This morning, we had a breakthrough.

(Back story- I think Mckynsi is PERFECT- she slept through the night at 3 weeks, never spat up, perfect in all ways.. she wasn't even sick until she was like 4)

I got up with Luke to feed him at 5am- he dozed back off- When he was fully asleep, he began to giggle. Adorable. He has only giggled like 3 times in his life. All within the last week and a half. Maybe he does like me.

This weekend was a good one. Friday night Pitts had to work the peanut fest for the Gideon ministry. I had dinner with the folks. It was a fun filled evening of Kynsi's newest rental (RETURN TO REDBOX, LP!!) laughing and forgetting milk in Mom's fridge. Womp, womp. Pitts, sure as the world, went and picked it up after his long day. Yay Pitts.  Early evening because I knew I had to get up, be presentable and have the kids presentable early the following morning.

My Saturday began at 5am. Typical. I had to leave the house before 7 to meet the ladies of the Gideon Auxillary by 8 am, it was our yearly luncheon. 

(Back story- We live in Ivor, at least a 45 minutes drive to Everywhere.)

Well, Pitts had a mens' prayer breakfast and he took the kids with him. Admirable effort for the Mckynsi who is everything BUT a morning person.. (he never has trouble  with her.. psht!) and the Luke. Who at 3 months is still pretty unpredictable. I left in time to be 'adorable' in a cardigan, and 'me' in heels, and stop by the grocery store to grab two frozen pies (one day I'll be That Girl in a sweet cardigan, heels, and a homemade pie. One day.) and be 7 minutes early. Well, I knock on Mrs. Nancy's door.. and wait.. and wait.. only to discover it was NOT 7:45, but 8:45 we were to meet. Well, poodle.

I headed over to our church to crash the mens' prayer breakfast in order to relieve Pitts with kid assistance. I got Kyns started with a craft, and rocked Luke to sleep. Grabbed a doughnut (cue waistline expansion) and dashed back to Mrs. Nancy's  only to now be 5 minutes late. Well, poodle.

The luncheon was at Great Bridge Baptist in Va. Beach. The church is beautiful, a newer building with exposed beams in the steeple and elaborate stained glass. I love church sanctuaries, and typical always spy them out when I have occasion.

The topic of the luncheon was 2 Cor. Chapter 2 verse 15a- "For we are unto God a sweet savour of Christ" KJV.

(side note- I LOVE the NLT version of this verse, although I do not typically LOVE the NLT- " Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those who are being saved and by those who are perishing " Good huh? The second part wasn't as discussed at the luncheon- But I love that translation)

It was an awesome time with a lot of awesome ladies. I still have the 'little girl' syndrome-- I feel as young and ignorant in that company as anywhere, but it is so good for me to be with these ladies, that I take it in passing. I am a little crazy I think- but it smelled WONDERFUL in the room we had the luncheon. No one but me smelled it but I could make out a fresh gardenia scent.. funny how the Holy Spirit works.

(or Glade)

The luncheon was from 10-4 and I had some of the world's BEST chicken salad- which I do not particularly LOVE, but it was awesome. (Cue waistline expansion) and of course, I had one too many no bake cookies. After, since I was free- I knocked out the grocery shopping (2 trips in one day!) in 35 minutes! Which is amazing, since I am used to having two kids with me. Feeling especially proud- I headed home to my babies and awesome husband who had dinner ready. (Cue waistline expansion)

Sunday was a pretty good day, also. We always spend all day at church- just because of the lunch and the travel time.. no need to go home for 30 minutes. It was a good day- Kyns and I played a few riveting rounds of connect 4 and entertained Luke before some of the youth girls came back around, then Kyns ditched me for jewelry making and the like. Allie is the girl she was hanging out with. And I am always comfortable with that- Allie is an amazing girl, definitely the type of teenager I don't mind Kynsi looking up to.  Kimmy is another girl Kyns loves, and she is equally awesome.

Luke took a pretty long nap- so I hooked the nursery monitor up so I could Choir practice. I love Choir. Although I am not much of a singer, that is one of those activities that looks good on a preacher's wife's repertoire, and as thoroughly as I enjoy it, it is a welcome addition. ( I have few activities that qualify- But the ones I am working on are: Public Prayer, Teaching Sunday School for Children, Baking, and Casserole Making (particularly for the bereaved)  and Piano Playing) and that was a great Sunday. It concluded with a late brinner. Breakfast/ Dinner Combo. French Toast, yum.. and all together now..(Cue waistline expansion).

Good, good weekend.

I ordered our t shirts yesterday for the Susan G walk Saturday. I am pretty excited about it. It is a 5k.. which isn't the 10 miles Katie and I thought it was. Thank Goodness. It is 3.1. Phew. That is all I really did yesterday.. No laundry..which is what I really should have gotten done. And I'll have another reprieve this evening. Monthly church ladies' meeting. Good times.

The New Standard Pittionary.

This is a simple dictionary of terms and people I will refer to, and do constantly throughout our blog relationship. Please refer to as necessary. :) It is NOT alphabetized. Don't expect so much.

Laughing: is necessary. Way more than breathing.

Television: I hate all the negativity it spouts. Ugh.

Nutella: sad addiction

Diet and Exercise: they go together. and I avoid both but seriously need to do them more.

Sunglasses: I always wear. It is a occupational hazard. See Also: Eyeglasses

Jessie: refers to my bag. I loves Jessica Simpson purses and am an avid collector. 

Kindle: I use and LOVE. It's my favorite.

Abortion: Against- and I don't want to talk about it. Except when I bring it up.

Republican: See that I am.

Working: 1/2 day W, Th and Fr. Part time. Eek.

Breastfeeding: I pump. 

Boss: less than perfect relationship with. He gives no credit, and I deserve it.

Psht: Sarcastic less than blow off.

Job: Measure for lenses, pick out frames with patient.

Mom: complicated need relationship.

Dad: Independent Baptist Preacher. See also: Husband.

Husband: B, Pitts, Brandon. Perfect, literally. Like, as a person. It is hard. Reformed partier, enthusiastic Christian. Made the switch, easy, successful.

Mckynsi: Mc, Kyns, Kynsi- Child number 1- is perfect, learning to read, hilarious personality, smothered by Me. Don't talk to me about it.

Luke: Child 2 - too new for nicknames. Now sleeps through the night, product of a difficultly strange pregnancy.

Katie and Lyndsey: Coworkers. I love to engage them in senseless photo shoots.

Addition 10/12/10

we live in Ivor. It is country and takes us an hour to get anywhere.

I like to pronounce H's in front of words. It is breathy and fun.

Mckynsi IS perfect. (except she gave herself a haircut in my Dad's office last week and now has bangs.)

I like to spontaneously sing. Badly,

I like to make games out of plain things.